I'm to Blame
by Otaku With Cats
Summary: Spoilers in summery for M*A*S*H 4077th. Find out how our favorite company clerk somehow thinks the death of a dearly loved Colonel was his fault... and how does his ability to 'see' strange things have to do with it? Honestly this story is all over the place, it has Fluff, it has Comedy (to a certain degree) and it has sadness.


**Hey guys! I felt in the mood for something really (dark maybe?) sad and just overall short. Warnings!: If you have not gotten to where Winchester comes in or do not know who Winchester is, then you should stop reading ('cause spoilers) and get off of the M*A*S*H section of because this will be a GINORMOUS spoiler!**

Radar's P.O.V

I walked out of Post op, feeling just as bad as I had when I entered to tell them the news….. Col. Blake's plane crashed over the ocean….. there were no survivors. The thing is I could have prevented it! I should have done something! I knew that dream meant something, but I didn't know what. Oh ma' please forgive me, for I have just help murder a good man.

 _*flashback*_

 _I pick up my book and after a good half 'n hour begin to fall asleep._

 _"Oh good god." I hear a man as I'm in the back seat of a…. helicopter?_

 _"What's wrong?" asked a man in a stylish white hat with a black stripe across it. The voice sounded like… Col. Blake?! No that can't be right, this man is wearing a suit. In all the times I've seen Henry Blake, he's never once worn a suit unless it was a_ _ **really**_ _important occasion._

 _"We're being shot at!" stated the pilot._

 _"That's ridiculous I haven't heard any guns being fired." Said 'Col. Blake?'_

 _"We're about to be! Can't you see the plane?!" I looked to where the man nudged his head, and sure enough there is a fighter plane to our left. Now I don't know much about planes but I'm pretty sure that it's in rang to shoot us, besides it has the North Koreans flag on it! Oh ma' I'm scared, what if they start shooting at us like that pilot predicted?_

 _"Watch out!" I see the pilot swerve to avoid getting shot at. Suddenly another shot was fired. This time it hit the helicopter. Another one, and another one. Oh ma' I'm gonna die! I wish I could've seen you one last time, and not in some video. I feel salty tears run down my face. Suddenly we started plummeting down into the ocean._

 _Ma' I love ya'; Please, I only wish that someone will find my body and bury it where you can go. We fall down out of the sky. I can barely hear the sound of the man in the suit and the pilot screaming as we descend to our doom. Suddenly I hear a 'SPLASH' and I feel water rush over my body. My instinct is to swim, but I can't just leave those men behind! What if they are hurt? I swim over to what's left of the helicopter; I suddenly see a picture, a pretty lady with two children._

 _"Radar!" What? Who is that? Is it the pilot? Is it the man who sounds like Col. Blake?_

 _"Radar! Radar! Wake up!" I suddenly open my eyes to find myself lying in my cot, with a concerned Klinger in front of my face. I start to sit up as Klinger begins to speak._

 _"You really had me worried there kid. I was coming in here to see if I could find a pen so I could write a letter and then I see you tossing and turning and then suddenly you screamed. Man, you scared the socks right off me, and believe me when I say that that is hard to do!" I looked towards Klinger, then I remember my dream._

 _"Klinger…" I say as I feel my eyes well up with tears. I feel myself get engulfed in a hug I stayed there for what seemed like hours as I sobbed my heart out. When I no longer felt a need to cry I released Klinger from the hug._

 _"Damn war, It gets to everyone." I'm glad he's not asking me to talk about it. "Hey If you're alright I'm gonna take my leave now…" He says as he awkwardly walks towards the door._

 _"WAIT! ….no… don't leave… please." He looks surprised for a moment and then looks ready to burst into tears himself._

 _"I'll be right back with my cot. Can you hold up for that long?"_

 _"Yeah, thanks." He smiles gently_

 _"Any time, Radar." Klinger says as he walks out the door only to return shortly after with his cot. Somehow cramming it throw the door he sets it down about a few inches away from mine and takes out a book. After seeing people basically drown, and having that familiar feeling of being alone settle in, I really did not want to be alone tonight. I'm so glad that Klinger was there to wake me up, I'm not sure how much longer I could have stayed like that while still being able to keep my sanity_

 _. Ma' I've got a new goal before I die; I want to see you and Uncle Ed, and the rest of my family. I miss you so much ma', and when this stupid war is over I'm gonna run into the yard, and you'll be waitin' there with my folks, and we'll eat corn from the farm, and I'll see Betsy the cow again, and we'll make ice cream and just spend time together, and laugh, sing, and dance. And with those thoughts I began to feel tired, and so I did what any normal person does when their tired, I slept._

 _*Next morning*_

 _I wake up and look over to my side to see that Klinger's cot is gone, he must have woken up earlier than I. Wait….. what time is it?! I jump out of my 'bed' and rush to get some clothes on, I run to the dining hall where Igor was just about to pack up the food._

 _"Oh, there you are Radar, I had begun to think that you weren't going to eat breakfast." Igor exclaimed._

 _"Yeah, sorry 'bout that. I kind of woke up late." I say feeling really embarrassed._

 _"No problem Radar. No one really took much of the 'food' anyways." I start to make my plate, no one really took anything at all. I honestly don't like the food here. It doesn't even seem like food. But ma' always told me that we could have a really bad drought on our farm or all of our animals could die, and then we'd have no food. So I'll eat up what I can when I can so that if that ends up happening, I'll be able to say 'I never took food for granted (A.N. Almost wrote Granite there.).' I scan the room, most of the people had already left, but luckily I see Trapper, Hawkeye, Klinger, Maj. Houlihan, and Maj. Burns, over at one table finishing up their breakfast. I rush over there hoping to get as much time with them before they had to go._

 _"Oh hey Radar." States Hawkeye as I sit down next to him and Klinger._

 _"Late, O'Reilly. I will have this put on your record when I become Colonel." Maj. Burns states with a snide tone._

 _"I'm really sorry sir! It won't happen again! I can promise you that." No matter how mean Maj. Burns can be, he still is a person, and ma' always told me to treat others like you'd want to be treated._

 _"You better not. As sorry as you may claim you are, that does not change the fact that this will stay with you for the rest of your life!" Maj. Houlihan nodding her head in agreement to what Maj. Burns said._

 _"Now, now Frank, don't you think that's a little extreme?" inquires Trapper._

 _"Of course not! This is the army McIntire and as such we will follow the regulations of one!" Now Maj. Burns is getting a little angry._

 _"No Frank, this is not the army this is a hospital and as much as you want to believe it's not, it is, and do you see a hospital worker making a complaint because a co- worker was late. To. Breakfast?" questioned Hawkeye. Uh ma', what should I do? They're arguing over me… ma' how do I fix this?_

 _"Um… guys, it's okay Maj. Burns is going to make the complaint and then we'll forget about it." I state trying to be the peace maker, where is Father Mulcahy when you need him?_

 _"I agree with Corporate O'Reilly. Not only will Maj. Burns be making a complaint, but I will also make sure that you two get one as well for disobeying your Colonel!" Maj. Houlihan states as she points to Hawkeye and Trapper._

 _"First of all we did not 'disobey' a Colonel, we argued with a_ _ **Major**_ _. Fine! Make the complaint about Trapper and I, but do not bring Radar into this!"_

 _"Oh wow! Aren't you just a_ _ **martyr**_ _how about you say that again when I become Colonel!"_

 _"EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP!" I along with all present at the table turn to look at Klinger. "I just found the kid crying his eyes out last night so, how about we all just shut it, and not only give the kid kindness, but also leave the fighting for_ _ **after**_ _Col. Blake goes home?!" Oh right, Col. Blake is going home today, how could I forget? I suddenly feel the feeling that someone is watching me. I look around to see that everyone at the table is looking at me directly. Oh Klinger why did you have to say that? Now they're gonna think I'm even more of a cry baby than they did before._

 _"Is this true Radar?" asks Hawkeye, but before I even have a chance to speak I hear Klinger speak up again, still as agitated and angry as before._

 _"Of course it is! I saw it myself, the kid screamed from a nightmare and practically begged me not to leave!" Of all words, did you have to say those? I feel my face go red from embarrassment and I feel the familiar feeling of arms surrounding me in a hug. I look over to see that Hawkeye and Trapper have begun to hug the living daylights out of me._

 _"Heh, I appreciate the gesture but I sort of need to breathe." I say, somehow squeezing the words out of my mouth. They quickly let go, and muttered apologies. I look over at everyone there and see that they've all finished their meals, suddenly I'm not feeling too hungry. As everyone begins to leave I go to throw out the remaining scraps of my food. Just as I'm about to turn around I feel a hand on my shoulder, I spin around to see Maj. Houlihan looking at me in…. guilt? I wonder what she's feeling guilty about._

 _"Listen Radar, I'm sorry for what I said earlier, that was very rude of me and I'll make sure to convince Maj. Burns to drop the complaint." I'm shocked. First of all she's apologizing…. What even for? Second she called me Radar, she never calls me Radar. It's always Corporal O'Reilly or just O'Reilly if it's a good day._

 _"It's fine Major, you don't need to do that, Maj. Burns is just trying to do what's right." I state._

 _"No it's not fine. I will get Maj. Burns to not make that complaint, and also, if you ever have that bad of a nightmare again, don't be afraid to wake me up. I'll always listen if you need to talk." She exclaims with a small smile. She takes my silence as a cue to leave, but honestly I'm just stunned. What just happened?_

 _*Flashback over*_

Only if I had known what would have happened after Col. Blake left. After he took off in the helicopter Hawkeye called everyone into his old office to show us a picture that he had left for us to remember him. It was an ordinary family photo except for the fact that it had his address written on it with a note that said 'Write me soon.'

But then I looked at the picture closer, it looked strangely familiar, then I realized, this was the photo in the dream! And when Col. Blake left he was wearing a suit with a white hat….. that had….. a black…. Stripe… oh my god. Ma' what have I done?! But that's in the past, he's dead, the man I considered a father is dead…. and I'm to blame.

 **Oh wow! This turned out a LOT darker and a lot sadder than I expected it to be. If you liked this story you might wanna check out my other Radar story 'The Mysteries Behind Radar' where Radar has Multiple Personality Disorder! If you don't want to check it out that's also fine. This was so much fun to write you have no idea. I plan to make this just a oneshot, I might not later on if I decide that it has potential to be a multi chapter fic. Btw if I messed up military things please forgive me! I am aware that I am not educated in the military system, especially of that time, but if I did please let me know so I may fix them.**


End file.
